Oh Crap, I Really Like Him

Weekly Writing...

What could possibly be more nerve-wracking than picking the perfect outfit for a first date? Scarier than trying not to snort when you laugh? More terrifying than the moment before a goodnight hug turns into a goodnight kiss? More panic-inducing than waiting to see if he texts you after that first date? For me, it’s realizing I really, really like this guy and actually care if he asks me out again. I may come off as a semi-cool cucumber when it comes to dating but the truth is I’m just like any other woman. After a great date I look at my phone every 20 minutes, I make sure I have good reception just in case he’s trying to reach me, I replay every moment of our date hoping I didn’t make an ass of myself at any point. However, for fear of being pegged a stage-five clinger (thanks for that tip, Wedding Crashers) I make a conscious decision to not let my insecurities get the best of me.

Most of my dating activity in recent months has been via OKCupid. I wasn’t searching for my soul mate or someone to spend the rest of my life with; I was just looking for some practice. Before embarking on my online dating adventures I was easily a stage-five clinger. I was actively searching for a boyfriend instead of dating around and letting things happen naturally. I tried to force relationships that were never meant to be. I got my heart broken and I can look back now and say it was my own damn fault.

What my dating-frenzy and one of my very favorite (and very wise) girlfriends taught me was how to carry myself before, during, and after a first date. My first couple OKCupid dates were terribly awkward and I babbled…a lot…but I slowly became more comfortable, less awkward, and way more confident. I learned how to maintain a little mystery, let the guy be the pursuer, and move on if he doesn’t ask me out again.

But now after having been on several what I would call “really great dates” with the same guy (we met in real life, not online) I find myself in uncharted waters. During our last date I had a moment of clarity and realized oh crap, I really like him. Petrified of reverting back to my old habits, I’m desperately trying to remain calm even though my mind is spinning with what-ifs. We’ve mutually said, “I really like you,” and he continues to want to see me so there are some good signs. The potential start of a new relationship seems so fragile and that scares the crap out of me. I guess I have to take my own advice and let things happen naturally.

By Katelyn | Too Pretty For a Cubicle

Weekly Writing: Girls

Lies Sex and the City Told Me
By Katelyn | Too Pretty For a Cubicle

I spent my late teens to early twenties pining after the fancy apartments and romantic shenanigans of
Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw and company. I was a Charlotte—I wanted the husband, the kids,
and the perfect Norman Rockwell painting life. At 22 years old, I really thought I had my shit together. I
had my degree, was a quasi-teacher (part time at two schools), and my employed (!) boyfriend of almost
two years asked me to move in. There was even the promise of a future engagement and marriage. It’s
funny how quickly the universe can drop-kick you into a different reality.

I should have seen it coming. My ex was a cheater, a liar, and had very deep-rooted commitment
issues—all of which I knew about prior to moving in. Call me naïve…it’s okay, I totally was! So when we
woke up one morning after another all-night fighting match and he told me I needed to move out, I was
secretly thankful. I didn’t have the lady-balls back then to do it myself. My sister and I packed up my
stuff—which pretty much left him with a cooking pan and a fork—and within hours my boxes were in
storage and I was on my parents’ couch.

I soon found a room to rent in a house with four other girls. There was a lot of estrogen running
through those walls, but luckily they were nice girls. I spent that year learning how to crochet, renting
movies, and baking copious amounts of banana bread. Even after all of that time healing, I still had the
desire to find a guy, get married, and pop out a few babies. I felt like my internal clock was ticking, but I
also had yet to truly enjoy being single.

Being a single and eligible bachelorette was turning out to be a far cry from the attractive, charming
suitors and Manolo Blahniks Sex and the City had promised. Sure, some of the horror stories from the
show were relatable; but overall, not so much. To top things off, I was the only one of my close friends
who wasn’t in a relationship. You can only go out with so many friends of friends before you run out of
options.

This is when I discovered the genius of Lena Dunham and the closer-to-the-truth that is Girls. It took a
few episodes to really get into it, but then I was hooked. I spent my Super Bowl Sunday watching the
first season back-to-back…I couldn’t even tell you who played in the game. Sex and the City lied to me!
Life is not pink cocktails and fashion shows. Life is having no idea what you want to do with your life,
discovering the ways a crazy ex can still pull you back in, and barely affording Easy Mac.

Of course I can’t relate to every situation presented on Girls, but Season 1, Episode 8 was one I have
personally experienced. Hannah (Lena Dunham) and her boyfriend Adam are taking a shower together
when he starts maniacally giggling. She looks down to discover Adam peeing on her and she (obviously)
flips out. Screaming, “Oh my God, Oh my God, you’re peeing on me! Stop it!” she jumps out of the
shower as Adam can’t seem the grasp what the big deal is. Until seeing this scene, I thought I was the
only person this has ever happened to. Needless to say, I no longer feel alone.

I’m finally enjoying my time as a single twenty-something learning how to navigate the world of dating
in Los Angeles. I still want to get married and have a family one day, but if I’ve learned anything from
Girls it’s that it is perfectly okay and normal to not have your shit together at 25.

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