Weekly Writing: Girls

Lies Sex and the City Told Me
By Katelyn | Too Pretty For a Cubicle

I spent my late teens to early twenties pining after the fancy apartments and romantic shenanigans of
Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw and company. I was a Charlotte—I wanted the husband, the kids,
and the perfect Norman Rockwell painting life. At 22 years old, I really thought I had my shit together. I
had my degree, was a quasi-teacher (part time at two schools), and my employed (!) boyfriend of almost
two years asked me to move in. There was even the promise of a future engagement and marriage. It’s
funny how quickly the universe can drop-kick you into a different reality.

I should have seen it coming. My ex was a cheater, a liar, and had very deep-rooted commitment
issues—all of which I knew about prior to moving in. Call me naïve…it’s okay, I totally was! So when we
woke up one morning after another all-night fighting match and he told me I needed to move out, I was
secretly thankful. I didn’t have the lady-balls back then to do it myself. My sister and I packed up my
stuff—which pretty much left him with a cooking pan and a fork—and within hours my boxes were in
storage and I was on my parents’ couch.

I soon found a room to rent in a house with four other girls. There was a lot of estrogen running
through those walls, but luckily they were nice girls. I spent that year learning how to crochet, renting
movies, and baking copious amounts of banana bread. Even after all of that time healing, I still had the
desire to find a guy, get married, and pop out a few babies. I felt like my internal clock was ticking, but I
also had yet to truly enjoy being single.

Being a single and eligible bachelorette was turning out to be a far cry from the attractive, charming
suitors and Manolo Blahniks Sex and the City had promised. Sure, some of the horror stories from the
show were relatable; but overall, not so much. To top things off, I was the only one of my close friends
who wasn’t in a relationship. You can only go out with so many friends of friends before you run out of
options.

This is when I discovered the genius of Lena Dunham and the closer-to-the-truth that is Girls. It took a
few episodes to really get into it, but then I was hooked. I spent my Super Bowl Sunday watching the
first season back-to-back…I couldn’t even tell you who played in the game. Sex and the City lied to me!
Life is not pink cocktails and fashion shows. Life is having no idea what you want to do with your life,
discovering the ways a crazy ex can still pull you back in, and barely affording Easy Mac.

Of course I can’t relate to every situation presented on Girls, but Season 1, Episode 8 was one I have
personally experienced. Hannah (Lena Dunham) and her boyfriend Adam are taking a shower together
when he starts maniacally giggling. She looks down to discover Adam peeing on her and she (obviously)
flips out. Screaming, “Oh my God, Oh my God, you’re peeing on me! Stop it!” she jumps out of the
shower as Adam can’t seem the grasp what the big deal is. Until seeing this scene, I thought I was the
only person this has ever happened to. Needless to say, I no longer feel alone.

I’m finally enjoying my time as a single twenty-something learning how to navigate the world of dating
in Los Angeles. I still want to get married and have a family one day, but if I’ve learned anything from
Girls it’s that it is perfectly okay and normal to not have your shit together at 25.

2013 Festival Fashion Faves

It's hard to believe, but Coachella is fast approaching! I'm just now realizing I haven't even begun to think about what I'm going to wear this year. So I created a festival fashion board to get my ideas rolling and perhaps inspire you for whatever fun outdoor events you may be going to!

Tie it up that dirty desert hair: knot headbands

Fashion made simple: rompers

The dance party never stops: wild printed tights

I dare you to try: hot pink lips

Make your own music: stacked bracelets

Desert rock goddess: studded ankle boots

Go bigger, brighter & rounder: statement glasses

Grandpa approved: bomber jackets

Weekly Writing: Spidey Senses

 

The Truth About Spidey Senses
By Katelyn

My adventures in online dating aside, I do occasionally meet guys in real life. At bars, through friends,
in the dark alley that runs parallel to Lankershim in North Hollywood affectionately called “rhymes with
grape” alley…the latter not being my favorite, but it’s a shortcut to our favorite dive bar.

After spending ten months learning how to crochet, knit, and any other activity reserved for little blue-
haired ladies (yes, I realize these things are now cool and trendy) in hopes of getting over the failure of
my almost three-year relationship, I decided it was time to get out and have some fun. Perfect timing as
my friend invited my sister and me to a Halloween party. Edit…I have since learned the best way to get
over any kind of rejection is move on ASAP!

I donned my go-to sexy Alice in Wonderland costume and we went to the party. I met Sam (not his real
name) at said party. He was tall, cute, had a great smile, and was dressed up as Ted, Seth Macfarlane’s
offensive teddy bear. Truth be told, I was all about Mike who was wearing a banana costume that night
and didn’t pay much attention to Sam at all. 3 keg stands and 2 games of beer pong later (hey, ten
months of crocheting will do that to a girl) it was time to go. Sam walked us out and told us to let him
know when we got home. My sister deserves a special shout-out for being my sober driver and letting
her big sis get a little cray cray!

Fast forward a couple weeks and my sister and I thought we spotted Sam at a concert. My memory
was a little fuzzy so I pointed him out. We texted him and although it wasn’t him, that started a
conversation which turned into a date a couple nights later. He was polite and sweet and a very good
kisser. We started seeing each other a couple days a week. We cooked dinners together and had great
chemistry in the kitchen. Seriously…that’s not a metaphor for “in bed.” I like to eat.

A couple of months in, I was falling for him. But I’m not the kind of girl who perpetually dates. I like a
commitment after a reasonable amount of time. I went into the conversation thinking we were on the
same page. We weren’t. He “wasn’t ready for a relationship”…um what had the last couple months
been? He said we could still be friends and to text him when I was ready; yeah, no thanks. I cut off all
communication and deleted his number.

Around then is when I started going out with girlfriends more and signed up for OKCupid. I met sweet-
Charlie during one of those nights out and he didn’t waste any time asking for my number. He took me
out for a drink and kissed me at the end of the night. When I got in my car to go, it was clear someone’s
Spidey Senses were tingling…yes those exist!

A vaguely familiar number had texted me, “Hey you. Hope things are going well!” To which I
responded, “Hi. Who is this?” “Sam.” Seriously!?!?! I’ve heard women preach that as soon as you
move on, that guy from before will try to contact you but this was ridiculous! I exhibited serious self-
control when I replied with, “Oh hi. Ya I’m good thanks.” Other obvious options were, “Dude, WTF?”,
“You had your chance”, and “Can’t talk now, I’m on a date with Ryan Gosling.” Some could argue that

he just wasn’t ready before, and maybe now he is, but I’ve decided the guy I want to be with is the one
who wants to be with me from the get-go. If he can’t make up his mind, move on! Women are freaking
amazing and shouldn’t waste time with guys who are clueless to that fact.

Sam hasn’t replied to my last text and that is perfectly fine with me! Nothing ever happened with
banana boy. And as for sweet-Charlie, he looked a little like Bradley Cooper, but unfortunately it wasn’t
a love connection. Next!

By Katelyn | Too Pretty For a Cubicle

Morgan + Seth's Dark & Playful Wedding Invitations

Morgan and Seth love black, red, skulls and anything a little rock 'n' roll. They also happen to be my close friends who are getting married in May! Keeping this in mind, I knew designing their wedding invitations was going to be a blast. We wanted the invites to be a little dark, romantic, edgy and slightly playful... just like them.

Here's what we came up with... Along with a formal invitation, guests got a "ticket" to the show, a "flyer" for the reception, and a timeline of events. I'm so happy with how it turned out! A big congrats to them!

DIY Vegan Baileys Irish Cream

I love St. Patrick's Day... and now vegans can too.

Baileys Recipe via Oh She Glows

And if that's not enough for you, try these:

Bottoms Up! Irish Cream Hot Fudge Cupcakes from Heather Baird on Vimeo.

Weekly Writing: Thick Black Frames

 

Thick Black Frames
A Poem for You, Sir
By Katelyn

I met you Friday night before the Oscars
It was almost midnight at a hotel bar
My friends and I were freezing
You were hogging the fire pit

We connected
Over how life imitates Friends
And Harlem Shake videos
(I still don’t get it)

You smiled at me
Touched my leg
Bought me a drink
And invited us to your friend’s room

You poured me wine
We laughed
And discussed the multiple meanings of “scat”

It was after 4 and we called a cab
You walked us down
Asked for my number
Hugged me
Told the driver not to try anything funny

You texted me right away
The next night, too
And then nothing

What the hell?
Whatever.
I only liked you for your glasses

By Katelyn | Too Pretty For a Cubicle

Chic Maker DIY Jewelry Kits

Do you ever get that itch to be crafty... and then realize you're too lazy to go out and find/buy all the pieces for your theoretical project? Fortunately, Chic Maker, makes it easy to get your craft on without stepping one foot outside your house. They'll ship one of their monthly DIY jewelry kits with all the materials and instructions right to your doorstep! I discovered Chic Maker when I was perusing one of my favorite blogs Delighted Momma. Below you can see what she did with the March bracelet-making kit. The materials happen to be in one of my favorite color combos too- tan and teal. So cute!

Freebie: Printable Map Puzzle

Although this jigsaw puzzle may have been intended to help kids learn a little U.S. geography, I'm printing out my own, because I adore it... and it will look very nice above my desk.

via Mr. Printables

Weekly Writing: OK Fine, Cupid

Hello everyone and happy Friday! I'm so excited to announce a new section here on MDP called Weekly Writing! Let me introduce you to my incredibly talented friend Katelyn, who is the creator of the brand new blog Too Pretty for a Cubicle, and our new guest writer! I've illustrated a snippet of her latest piece entitled "OK Fine, Cupid"... Today's topic: online dating!

If scoffing at Match.com commercials while I watch my Thursday night lineup of NBC comedies, one hand in a bag of chocolate chips, the other on a spoon in a jar of peanut butter is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

Okay so maybe that exact scenario has only happened once or twice, but you get the idea.  I thought online dating was stupid, pathetic, weird, etc.  But as I near the other side of 25 and find myself unattached to anyone again, my also newly-single girlfriend changed my mind.

I’m not necessarily looking for my soul mate, or even a serious relationship online, but the way my girlfriend put it was, “Just get out there and date!  Meet new people and expand your circle.”  The more I thought about it as I looked over the sea of mustaches and plaid in the Silver Lake whiskey bar we were in, the more sense it made.  I mean, she had a date that weekend after being on the site for just a few days.

Expanding my circle is the best description of what I hope to get out of my time online.  See, I grew up, went to school, and now work in the same town about 30 miles north of Hollywood.  As much as I love “Awesometown” (please don’t judge, that’s seriously what City Hall has deemed it) it’s a little too family-oriented for a twenty-something trying to date.  My town, as populated as it is, is still too small a world to meet someone truly “new”.  It seems like every guy I’ve met since college either knows, dated, or slept with someone I know…blah!  So the first thing I did when I created my OKCupid account was set my location as the broader, Los Angeles.

Almost instantly I was met with a barrage of messages from guys that ranged from, “Hey, what’s up?” to, “Hey sexy do you model?” But the one that takes the cake has to be, “How many pairs of shoes do you have?  Do you like to cuddle?”  Ehhh… Luckily about 90% of the messages are somewhat normal so after weeding through the creeps, I chose a few guys to respond to.

The first thing I discovered about dating in LA is that I am the only person who was actually born here.  Fine, that might be a little bit of an exaggeration, but seriously, you moved to LA from Nebraska, Ohio, Kentucky, because you want to be a director, writer, actor...more power to you, but it gets a little old.  Unless you are Ben Affleck, I’m not impressed by your aspirations to produce a film.

And where are all of the Mikes, Christophers, and Sams?  My first date was with a struggling stage actor-writer-director named Giorgio; then there was Ruben, and finally Hamilton…huh?  Well regardless of their interesting names, it seems like most of these guys are looking for pen pals as opposed to dates. Perhaps it’s the curse of our instant-gratification generation, but I don’t want to tell you every detail of my life before I’ve met you in real life.

So far I’ve been on OKCupid for a little over a month and have seen more shirtless-in-the-bathroom mirror pictures than I’d like to admit (the ones with toilets in the background are my favorite…classy, gentlemen!)  I haven’t made any love connections, but I have been semi-wined and dined and am on the road to successfully expanding my circle, getting over that first-date awkwardness, and definitely meeting truly “new” people.  I still prefer to carouse North Hollywood’s dive bars and downtown’s hot spots with the girls to meet guys in real life, but I think I’ll keep up with my online extracurriculars for the time being as well.

-Katelyn

The Zone

Move over Thursday, Friday is ready for me! This week has been a challenging one, to say the least. I've been juggling a million projects at work... not to mention everything around me seems to be falling apart- light bulbs going out, tires going flat, the kitchen sink deciding not to drain... ugh! But I do always  say I would rather be busy than bored. I guess it's in my nature to stay positive. After all, it is going to be in the 80's this weekend! I certainly can't complain about that. One more day, Friday...

///focus image via